Striving for the Highest

Today I believe that I officially signed up for the Inaugural Pronto Pup Eating Contest at the Minnesota State Fair. I say that I believe I signed up because the web registration page at AM1500.com has the least possible amount of information on the event.

I do not know when or where this contest is, but I know that if someone is going to let me eat more than one free pronto pup, I will be there. I will take a couple of hours off of work if I have to. What is personal time for if not gorging yourself on delicious breaded hot dogs?

I am not-so-secretly hoping that this event has a free t-shirt included. I am picturing different designs in my head right now. I already know how fantastic the pronto pup on the Maroon and Gold Day 2002 looked, so I can only hope for a similar graphic. I think having a "I ate way too many pronto pups at the Minnesota State Fair" shirt would only add to my already accomplished t-shirt collection.

My goal for this event is six pronto pups in 10 minutes. I have no pride in saying I really don't think I could eat more than six. I ate 6 Metrodome hot dogs in 2 hours last summer. I felt like a million bucks the next day too, no sarcasm should be inferred. I literally felt strong and robust the next day. The key there is that I took 2 hours. If I had jammed all of those suckers in my gullet in 10 minutes I would have absolutely vomited.

I have a secret stat that I think puts me ahead of all of the other casual lady pronto pup eaters in this contest. My fourth year of marching band I planted an assistant in the crowd at the State Fair parade. Her job was to buy a pronto pup and then sit on the curb about 1/3 of the way through the parade. When we got to her position I veered my file off course and "stole" her pronto pup and began eating it, much to the surprise and delight of the other spectators. It was a real crowd pleaser. Vince really played it up too, so no one knew that she was in on it. Well done VB. If I can make it a whole parade in the hot hot sun with a mouth caked in corn dog breading without getting too thirsty to function AND play a trombone, then I can handle ten minutes of speed eating.

Remind me to ask Ben how he stretched out his stomach for the meter brat. He ate that thing with ease. I need to learn from the master. Although, if I am being truthful, I don't even want to eat until I am completely full. I'd like 4-5 free corn dogs, to save the 12-15 bucks I would have spent on them anyway, and a shirt announcing my participation.

Come get some, Joey Chestnut!