Oh Ver Ray Ted

I recently read a blog written by James Gunn (horror film writer/director, and the former Mr. Jenna Fischer). He sat down with a few of his friends and hammered out a list of the 100 Most Over Rated Things Ever. This list was created on the foundation of establishing what the rating of anything currently was, and how much higher it was than it deserved to be. This is not a list of things that suck. It is a list of things with too high a rating from society at large. I think this was a fantastic idea. Listing 100 things that suck, but are somehow beloved in the mainstream would have been so easy, and so in fashion, that I really respect his distinguishing of a totally different kind of assessment.

Here a few excerpts from his list. He gave no explanation on any except his number one pick, which I disagree with on the sole issue that I don't think it's current rating is very high anyway, so for it to be overrated it would have to actually deserve a zero (which I believe is his exact belief).

89. SHREK
84. Yoga
74. Kevin Spacey
60. Porsches
51. Chiropractors
51. Chiropractors
39. Girl Scout Cookies
33. The Liberty Bell
17. Tom Hanks
11. Jon Stewart, post 2007
5. Jazz
2. Led Zeppelin
1. Unicorns

You can look up his blog if you want to see his unicorn argument. Speaking as someone on a dodgeball team called The Rainbow Unicorns, I think the current rating of unicorns is appropriate. I even think they may be underrated now that wizards and vampires have taken over the hearts of children. How about a wholesome fake creature instead of those devil worshippers, eh? Unicorns can't be played by a teen heart throb in a motion picture franchise, that is the problem.

Getting back on point, I recently started up an informal discussion about things I thought were overrated at a dodgeball tournament with the afore mentioned kickass team. We talked about it and threw some options back and forth during our down time between games. It really is a fun discussion. I am going to list a few things here, and hopefully those of you that have found your way to this blog will add to the discussion.

My Number One Most Overrated Thing Ever: DOGS
I do not hate dogs, nor am I in any way a fan. They are incredibly high maintenance, to the point of taking over the owner's entire life. They smell, they are loud, and they are attention mongers. They require almost constant supervision. They require assistance to relieve themselves. They attack visitors, and almost always go for the crotch. Save for that last point, they are exactly like a baby. A baby that will never grow up and begin taking care of itself, or even communicating with you in anything but grunts and eye contact. Ugh, why is everyone so in love with dogs?! They may be cool, but they are in no way deserving of the "everyone should love them or else they are heartless" level they seem to have established.

Other picks:
New Years- Seriously? Not that big of a deal everyone. You shouldn't be clamoring for fake reasons to celebrate and go crazy when the late November-December period is pretty much a constant pot luck/gift exchange anyway.

24- Do you know how many tortured heroes are seemingly unkillable, taking down bad guys left and right, and still have their own demons to battle? Jack Bauer cannot possibly be that great. The Chuck Norris set of jokes was cool because he is so old, on a canceled CBS series, and obviously an ironic non-idol. People seem to really think that Jack Bauer is like a badass Jesus. Come off it America.

Fantasy Football- This phenomenon has single handedly made the NFL the new national past time. Men with cubicle jobs and the women that want to bang them have all centered their lives around assessing injuries and potential yardage in the slot for a tight end (that's what she said). Professional football as its own event is not that impressive, and I think everyone can agree the rules get semi-ridiculous. In the era of 24-hour news coverage, High-Def broadcasts, and DVR the fans have almost more insight into the game than the players and coaches. Armchair quarterbacks are now keyboard offensive coordinators. It is kind of ridiculous, there I said it.

Pizza (american delivery style)- It's everyone's default favorite food. Everyone will eat it anytime. Why? Bread, sauce, cheese, all of low quality. It also takes about 45 minutes to get it once you decide you're hungry. I like pizza a lot, but sometimes I wonder why.

These are just a few of mine. Dogs and New Years I stand behind, the others were just for the point of instigating. Your thoughts?